Thursday, January 15, 2009

Homeland Security

In case you set yourself on fire, Do not run.

If you see a Terrorist arrow pin it up against the wall.

When exposed to a Hazardous unknown substance, Stand and think about it. Do not seek medical attention.

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you see this smooth criminal, run away and make sure not to look into his eyes.

If your exit is blocked, Karate chop it open.

If your building collapses, get under a table and do yoga immediately.

Try to absorb the radiation in your groin area. The fastest you absorb it the better. So far the most radiation absorbed was done in 5 minutes 12 seconds.

After being exposed to radiation you may grow in size. Watch your head.

If exposed to NickelBack, P.O.D. or Creed. Assume the fetal position, or run away as fast as you can.

The middle of a terrorist attack is not an appropriate time for catching up on your reading or paperwork.

If your intended destination suddenly gets vaporized. Pull over and enjoy the light show.

1 comment:

Psyched Floridian said...

best thing i've seen all year.