Monday, April 18, 2011

S.F. Missed Connection Monday

To my naked neighbors-thanks! - m4w - 28 (alamo square / nopa)
Dear neighbor who lives next door, one floor down, and sometimes washes dishes naked, I want you to eat more food. Not because I'm calling you too skinny; your body is very pleasantly proportioned. No, I just want you to generate more dishes, and more opportunities for me to peep at you from my bedroom window. You are beautiful, and have brightened so many of my days.

I've been exercising, working on losing weight and building muscle, because I believe in equal-opportunity-voyeurism. I see all these little cute butts in yoga pants, and I feel badly for staring, because no one's going to stare at my fat, bearded, Zack Galifianakis-lookin' self. I WANT to be objectified, made into a piece of meat, stripped naked in the female mind. Therefore, I am working out, in hopes that someday when you're washing dishes naked, you might catch a glimpse of me playing my cello in my birthday suit and think, "wow, he has Ryan Reynolds' 'Blade II' body, and Zach Galifianakis' 'The Hangover' beard, that dude is jammin'" (or whatever ladies say when objectifying a man), and be inspired to write your own w4m missed connection, thanking your naked cello-playing neighbor for brightening your life in a small way.
More here...

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