Better Late Then Never

Missed Connection Mondays

Weird Al Concert - m4w - 32 (Jacksonville)
You: Stunning hottie totally into Weird Al Yankovic. Were at the show with what appeared to be a total douche. Our eyes met during the Yoda encore and I think you knew you'd rather be with me.
http://jacksonville.craigslist.org/mis/1854434642.html

Way to make me happy! - w4m - 24 (Riverside)
I might claim to be a werewolf, but you look more like one than I do with your chops, handlebar mustache and mullet. I'm just posting this because I don't gush to my friends, so I am going to gush on here. You make me feel like no man ever has. I think it's the mullet... ! Kidding :)
http://jacksonville.craigslist.org/mis/1855338929.html

The Holla 4 a Dolla Tree - w4m - 37 (Atlantic n Kernan)
I was w/ my babies and husband n saw u at the dolla store 2day.
Me: two kids and a broke ass nigga that aint worth nothin, flickin' his cigarette all ova the damn place and checkin my feet for poo poo
You: handsome young man in uniform buying candyyyy. i'd like to be yo candy
I saw you get in your blue vehicle and drive off. Maybe some day you can take me for a ride and maybe even for a drive in your car ;) Tell me what fast food place your work 4 so i kno its u. id luv 2 make u my mcdouble
http://jacksonville.craigslist.org/mis/1845502492.html

Lanieka You So Crazy

Keitel Approved

God Damn!

Is This a Joke?

I really hate Eminem but I love his fans. Wait for 1:15 and you will literally Laugh Out Loud. Holy Shit!

Anarchy Dog Lives!

There have been lots of riots and protests from both anarchists and workers in Athens, Greece specially the past few years. One interesting thing is that there is one dog that is spotted at these riots from 2008 till today. Damn this makes me want my own anarchist dog. More photos of the Anarchy dog here.

Missed Connection Mondays

Hipster girl smoking on burrito brothers patio wearing blue blockers - m4w - 19 (BURRITO BROTHERS!)
Super high pants. You were with your friend. I don't think you guys said a word to each other cause you guys were on your iPhones. That's fine. I can be your friend. You can not talk to me. I just want to look at you. You lit it up a cigarette. It was hot. Too hot. I told you to put it out and you obliged. There's more where that came from, sister. I've got a lot of money. They pay me well. I am the boss. I can buy you some clothes. Respond with what you ordered. I don't want to be alone anymore. It's so hot out :( I need your icy stare.
http://gainesville.craigslist.org/mis/1815808530.html

you came to work without panties - m4w - 47 (your apt.)
Just wanted to say hello and let you know I still think about you.All those nights in your bedroom,and all the times at work.What I remember most is banging you as you were looking out the window at cars going by.That and your ex in the next room made it something to remember.
http://orlando.craigslist.org/mis/1841296341.html

Hottie Tater Tottie - m4w - 33 (Jax Beach Bitch!!!)
I saw you on Atlantic Beach Blvd today, and almost crashed as I was driving by. You were wearing daisy dukes, and pushing a shopping cart full of kids. I don't think that any of them were mine, but who knows??? Damn Jim Beam...anyway, seeing you today really took me back to the trailer park and gave me a super duper woody all the way home :) my steering wheel is kinda sticky now, but it was worth it. I'd like to bend you over that shopping cart some time and eat that ass, yummy...
http://jacksonville.craigslist.org/mis/1848892237.html

Talk About Taking Flight

Pure Inspiration

Photo stolen from the best skate blog ever.

I'm on a Cruise!

Took my lady out on a Birthday Cruise, no captions needed...Well except for that weird guy who was wearing devil horns a few tables down from us.

Steinbrenner The Heartbreaker

R.I.P. George Steinbrenner, may your legacy live on through re-runs of Seinfeld. Everytime I eat a calzone I'll think of you.

More Double Rainbow Hype

I'm sorry I had to post it.

Missed Connection Mondays

Hottie at bar w/ husband - m4w (Longwood)
Hey...i really hope you see this! Im looking for the most gorgeous milf ive ever seen. u were at the bar with your husband and sang karaoke with some kids. I couldnt stop staring at you 2! even your husband isnt bad. god i wanna meet you 2 again! if your wanting to get together again(even with your husband if he would be into that). email me back with the song you sang and the color you said your panties were. ;) Hope to hear from you guys soon!
http://orlando.craigslist.org/mis/1821133617.html

The two girls that tipped me twenty cents. - m4w - 22 (Sakura)
Do you not understand how restaurants work? I realize that I fucked up your ridiculous sushi order (who the fuck gets carrots in their makimono!?) but I quickly corrected it. So not only did I have to pay for the disgusting rolls (which I'm eating right now doused in soy sauce) I had to suffer the humiliation of opening your bill to find two shiny dimes. I don't believe in Karma, but I'm sure you'll get your comeuppance.
http://tallahassee.craigslist.org/mis/1819350180.html

paid for dinner and my love - m4w - 22 (baymeadows carrabbas)
You bought someone dinner at the table i wait in carrabbas italian eatery. Some douche nugget made you pay when i would have gladly paid if i got the chance to bone you after, maybe in the back door, if youre into it. I would also father our children in the traditional carrabbas manner. i liked your eye lids, and your calamari, i guess its our calamari, like our love. ive got a raging boner that wont quit, help me my love!
http://jacksonville.craigslist.org/mis/1831369501.html

Speechless

Holy Shittttt!

I feel giddy like a little school girl anticipating this....September 28 couldn't come faster!

Homie Don't Play That

Paradise Lost

Not an April Fools joke

The course was actually pretty sick, def a locals only kind of set-up

This skeleton will not be duplicated

Reinforcements

Dogs and Dirt, Love it or Leave it!

Freak on a leash

You're tellin me

I <3 Attention

Somebody's Tasting It Alright

Missed Connection Mondays

You - Gorgeous... Me - A Gamer... - m4w
It was last Friday. I had just gotten up from a SWEET game of Warcraft on my PC. Anyway, I realized I was dangerously low on Mountain Dew, so I threw on my lucky green sweat pants and my trench coat to walk 3 blocks to the convenience store. I figured if I had enough change, I might even pick up some Slim Jims, but I digress...

On my way back to my apartment, Dew and Slim Jims in hand, I saw you and your friends walking into the Jazz club across the street. You seemed so comfortable and cool dressed to the nines for an evening of drinks and dancing with those closest to you.

It was then that I knew I had to meet you. Although I had never been in that particular establishment, I followed you in. You probably would have seen me, but I was slowed by an argument with the doorman over my attire. After a few minutes, I think I had him convinced I looked ok, but then he proceeded to ask me for $10 just to walk into the bar. I couldn't believe they wanted to charge me just to get in. I, of course had no money, having spent every spare cent on caffeine and sticks of processed beef. I walked back to the convenience store and failed in my effort to return the goods I had so recently purchased. Luckily, the store had an ATM, so I pleaded with the checker to hold my purchases behind the counter for a short time, and I withdrew $20 from the cash machine. Armed with my fresh $20 bill, I marched to the Jazz Club, paid the $10 cover, and went looking for the woman of my dreams.

I saw you immediately, near the bar with your friends. You were at the end of the group with some space next to you, so I settled in close. You noticed me once or twice as I cleared my throat nervously trying to think of what to say. It sounded like you may have commented on my trench coat to one of your friends, but I couldn't be sure. I finally bumped you to get your attention. I may have bumped to hard as I noticed you spilled some of your drink on your shirt. Sorry about that.

ME: So... Do you come here often?

YOU: No. (you turn back to your friends)

ME: Me neither. I hate bars. I can't come to terms with why anyone would want to pay such high margins on watered down drinks they could make at home for a fraction of the cost... (I trail off noticing you aren't listening)
I regroup and lean in close to your ear...

ME: What are you drinking there?

YOU: (barely looking over your should back to me) A gin and tonic.

ME: Can I buy you one?

YOU: I already have one, see... (you hold up your drink sarcastically)

ME: Well then, can I reimburse you for the one you are drinking?

YOU: What? (looking at me now)

ME: Let me pay you back for that one.

YOU: Whatever. (looking puzzled and annoyed)

ME: How much was it?

YOU: What?

ME: How much is a gin and tonic?

YOU: Five dollars

ME: Jesus Christ! What fool pays $5 for a freakin drink? That's robbery!!!

YOU: Get away from me.

ME: (embarrassed by my outburst) No, no, no. I said I'd pay you for it, so I will. (reaching in my pocket) Do you have change for a $10?

You: What?

ME: I only have a ten dollar bill? Do you have five dollars change?

YOU: (turning to face me completely and folding your arms as your friends quiet down to watch our interaction) Actually, this drink was $6 with tip.

ME: What?

YOU: My drink. It was $5 plus $1 for tip!

ME: Damn, this is getting expensive. Ok, do you have $4 change for my $10.

YOU: No.

ME: Well, then I'll have to get change from the bartender.

YOU: Don't bother. Leave me alone. (you turn back to your friends as they erupt in laughter)

I spend 10 mintues trying to get the bartender's attention. I can't blame him much because he was very busy serving so many other morons begging to be robbed of their hard earned dollars. When he finally gets to me, he tells me he won't give me change, but I can buy a drink and will get change from that. I tell him I wouldn't dream of paying such inflated prices for frozen water and a few drops of our country's last legal poison. He goes on to the next patron.

Frustrated, I go to the bathroom to pee and think about my next move. I'm pretty sure if I can just pay you for that drink that we will soon be making hot monkey love back at my apartment. However, I am disappointed at how much dating is already costing me, and how many obstacles one must overcome to simply buy a girl a drink. I start to plan my speech to you about how I may have jumped into this relationship too quickly, and that maybe we should just be friends.

While washing my hands in the sink, I notice there's a bathroom attendant. He is smiling and waiting with fresh paper towels for me. Next to him is his tray of tips stacked with dollar bills. I drop my ten dollar bill on the tray, as the attendants smile widens. Then, I pick up a pile of ones and begin counting them. The bathroom attendant gets very hostile and grabs the cash from my hand. I wrestle with him over the wad of cash. One of the bouncers must have been just outside the bathroom. I was sure that he would understand my story, and we could get everything sorted out. Boy was I wrong. He didn't want to hear anything. He just grabbed me by my trench coat and ripped me out the bathroom door and toward the exit. I yelled I LOVE YOU to you as he dragged me past your group. You replied loudly for all to hear FUCK OFF CREEP!!!
I know we're meant for each other. Give me another chance.
http://www.craigslist.ch/about/best/sea/134426482.html

Mr. Banks

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