Monday, September 14, 2009

Missed Connection Mondays

Save-A-Lot/Freezer Pops... - w4m - 25 (Lakeland, FL)
Assistant Manager at Save-a-lot. I asked you about freezer pops on Saturday... Thought you were super cute :) Hopefully you see this and respond :) Tell me your name!

This morning at the North Dade justice Center - m4w
This morning, at the North Dade Justice Center, you were wearing a really nice skirt (at least it looked very good on you) and you were with another girl (I couldn’t tell you much about her cuz I really didn’t look at her). As you walked by me I eyeballed you like there was no tomorrow, (if eyeballing was a crime, I would be guilty in the first degree). Then I saw you again in the courtroom, you were seating in the first row, I eyeballed you again, you seemed to ignore me (or were you pretending?). You looked like the Moon in the plenilune, and I felt like a million dollars just to look at you. If you want to contact me, reply to this ad.

"Fat lady on a bike" - w4m - 23 (Pompano Beach)
You yelled at me as I was bicycling behind you and your friends in your pickup, "Fat lady on a bike!" and then I flicked you off. You could have called me a chick, or a bitch, or any of a number of other, juicier things, so I wanted to let you know I was kind of turned on by the simultaneous respect and humiliation...

Really, though. One of my many reasons for being a fat lady on a bike is one day to be a fit lady on a bike, but I suppose it's a bit much to expect people like you to respect that and just be totally hilarious amongst yourselves. Sadly, only about a quarter of a mile in another direction later did I have the thought that I should have ridden up past you at the light and keyed your truck. Thanks for inspiring me to keep on, though, and somehow planting the following imagery in my mind:

You: the imposing and debonaire dancing sandhill crane
Me: the demure, more interested in basic self-preservation instinct sandhill crane with the bike

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