Monday, September 28, 2009

Missed Connection Mondays

The perfect timings of Whitney Houston - w4m - 24 (not florida)
I want to dance with somebody...or just you.

Guy with a cold - m4w (ASC)
Hey girl, I know you saw me yesterday at All Saints cafe. Word, I saw you looking at me. I know every time you heard me coughing and hacking you were turned on. When I sneezed like five times in a row I know you thought 'don't stop, oh that sound.' When I blew my nose, and I made that sweet sound like an elephant's mating cry, or a goose's death wail, I saw you looking at me. I know you just couldn't resist me. Vainly wiping up the snot running from my nose with a rough napkin, chapping my face, I could tell you wanted me. Every time I excised mucus from my nose, and boy was there a lot, your face contorted with pleasure and I swear I heard you moaning under your breath. 'Oh how I want that sick, sick man inside of me,' you thought as I coughed again, this time blowing spittle all over my laptop screen. I saw you sighing as I blew my nose again and again. Usually I try to go outside when I need to sneeze because its just too distracting for the ladies, but for you I stayed inside just to turn you on while you batted your eyes in my direction. If you are the girl I'm talking about email me back and you can make me some chicken noodle soup.

Frat Boy in the Mustang - - w4m - 18 (UCF)
Hey, fuck you. I was driving tonight and a big SUV was blocking my view in the U-turn on Alafaya. I pulled forward a little bit to see around the SUV, and I guess I threatened you and your precious Mustang, because not only did you swerve two lanes away from me (Which was completely unnecessary) you actually waited at the light for me JUST so you could flick me off and then laugh with your friend. You are so fucking awesome and cool, I just can't believe what an inferior stupid woman driver I am. Have fun flunking college, asshole, one day I'll be your doctor and you'll wonder why you were such a douche to me.

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