Monday, February 22, 2010

Missed Connection Mondays

Your tail wagged at me. - m4w - 35 (plaza terrace)
Everybody here's the situation last Friday. I see this girl walking her 2 dogs and OMG does she have a nice tail on her. It's not to big but man does it have shape. She's got those kind of boobs that bounce when she walks. I am mesmerized and everything just went to slow motion. I get lost to where I am going, you made me dizzy. Well that worked out well because of being lost I bump into you to again but EVEN closer, niceeee. You bent over to pet your dog, one small and the other taller both white. Nice hot pink panties BTW. I can only manage small talk, so I say " What kind of dog is the taller one?" I don't know what the "f" you said, I just wanted more time to drink you in. It worked. I said I liked the taller one because of his pointy ears. Dam baby you are H-O-T. I am chocolate and you are vanilla. Let's swirl together.

Girl in white skirt at chopstix last night - m4w - 24 (Gainesville)
You were so hot waving your arms around in a drunken frenzy. You were the bell of the ball in your tacky knee high boots. The cellulite hanging out from beneath your slightly stained white one piece way-too-shirt skirt was so arousing I found that I had to put down my Philadelphia hand roll and go squeeze one off in the bathroom. I was impressed with your drinking most of all! When I left you were on martini number 5, and by the looks of it, had no interest in calling it quits. However, whoever you were there with was not impressed with your antics. Idk if thats your husband (saw a ring on his finger), or you're his mistress, but as I mentioned, he was less than thrilled to be the object of your drunken pawing and flailing. So, since he wasn't interested, I am! I'd love to eat your stretch mark covered ass and pull your greasy short hair. I hope to hear from you!

To the girl I shagged last night - m4w - 26 (Awesomeland)
You're welcome. I know that was quite the experience for you, despite either of us remembering one another's names. What are names anyway, besides things to get wrong in the throws of passion? In any case, you experienced quite the treat last night and I just wanted to give you the opportunity to thank me for it. That is, assuming you have enough manners to do so (however judging by your demeanor in the boudoir, I'm skeptical as the the success rate of this endeavor). I'd also like to apologize. I know that no other suitor from this point forward will be able to properly slake your lust. This bittersweet realization comes as no shock to me, and while it pains me to have imparted such a burden upon you, I feel it will be a blessing in disguise for years to come as you fumble through whatever inept male stable you regularly keep to.
P.S. Feel free to leave me your phone number. I'd love to forget to call you later.

1 comment:

lakelander said...

"to properly slake your lust." fucking some mark twain shit right there. Well done kind friend